Written on the 13th December 2004

There's a lot of speculation over it; a lot of lies too. A lot of maggots crawl out of the woodwork so it's best for me to put it right...

I called it a day; I had no choice. Our Worlds are a million miles away, our dreams all dried up. Our cultures were different, our goals never to be and it's best to free the ones you love. I'll never be able to replace her nor do I wish to do so.

Saira to me was the perfect human being; beautiful. Her smile was priceless. her hair was silk. Her skin was soft. Her eyes sparkled. I idolised her. But she could not or would not escape her culture

All we did was fall out over silly things and it depressed me badly. Simple things is how she betrayed me. I could no longer rely on her or trust her to represent me. She was stuck in her own World, her own culture. And I was a fool to believe it could ever work. My dream was sucked dry

Saira can't even try an accept my culture. She must find herself a Muslim man and live her own life how she wishes. My only sadness is loosing out on Sami as for four years she was so much to me; but when you break up it's all or nothing to me.

I had no choice. People forget I'm a lifer. I have no control of my life inside, I have to accept how it is. Plus I'm a stronger man when alone. No baggage, no silly games, no emotional ties. Saira had 200% from me. I even took her name, Ahmed. I stopped eating pork; I tried my best for her.

In four years I never took a penny off her. All I had, she got! But all I got in return was crap. Pathetic excuses. Not attending functions on my behalf. She visited my mother once in four years. All excuses. This year she did not even send her a birthday card. It's unacceptable, it's a disgrace.

But it's her culture who spit on her for marrying me. A white man. A non-Muslim It's her culture who bullied Sami at school for having a white English Dad. It's her culture who forced her to marry a Muslim pratt who raped her. NOT my culture. It's her culture who makes her wear the clothes, makes her eat the food. Well it's my culture who enjoy a pint and a bet and a pork pie. This is England...MY culture. As my Dad used to say "When in Rome do as the Romans do or clear off!"

I'm now convinced a multi-cultural society can't ever work. How can it? People are now uncomfortable about all sorts of things; even Christmas time. It's offending some cultures!! We just can't win in this country; how can we? Even our comedians are told not to tell religious jokes. Our whole society, our way of life has been destroyed.

We can't win. It's become a big farce. It's false. People are now afraid to speak incase they may offend someone.

Saira did not care about offending me! She actually insulted me by not mixing with my circle. It was me having to answer to her absences. It had to stop! I was wrong to ever marry out of my culture as it can't work; even more so when I'm in prison. Marriage is a serious weakness, it destroys a man. It makes men into wimps. You become a thing. You become dependant on a person. Like a mouse in a cage. Please feed me. Please clean me out. You dream a lot. You are living in cuckoo land. NAG! NAG! NAG! NAG! Yes love, no love, three bags full love!

On top of all that you grow old "together" You become a piece of the furniture. You fart a lot. You sleep a lot. You talk a lot of crap. You start to wish on a star. If I had done this, if I had done that. I could have done this, I could have done that. It's all regrets. You eat for the sake of eating. You become a boring old fart.

Marriage is for muppets. It's for weak minded people who can't cope on their own merits. You become a routine; even sex becomes a routine. Marriage is for those who need to prove they're normal "Look at me! A wife, three kids, a house, a car, two holidays a year" Then in old age, one of you dies. Then what? Memories, only memories left.

Saira and me drifted away. I freed her from any more of this madness. Sure, I still love her. But I love a fresh apple pie as well. I love a budgie. I love the World. Why should I just love Saira? I don't love her no more - or no less - than I love everything else. Our marriage was a disaster, prison helped crush it from day one. Since we wed, three and a half years ago, the system has decidedly kept me on closed visits. What sort of marriage is that being on closed visits? It's cruel to Saira, it's ripping our hearts out, it's smashed our souls. Who needs it?

The system kept me up North in a cage. In solitary. They know it's difficult for Saira to see me. It was all stacked up against us, it's fate. It's time to reflect, break free, free of pressure, free of commitments. Life to short to suffocate yourselves in love. Saira is free! Saira needs to fly! Find herself a real lover, not a bird man like me!

Her book is published in January 2005. It will be a number one bestseller. I'm so proud of her. And before ANYONE starts saying more lies, I'll make it clear now. She wrote HER book, HER story, on HER own merits. NOT MINE! With or without me she would have done it. It was a book ready to do. Fate. It will probably end up a movie too. I hope it makes her rich as she can move on and up in life. She is to be admired. But until she sees her own disrespect towards me she will never realise how I felt in her behaviour. No more will I or can I make excuses for her. All I wish is for health and happiness for both Saira and Sami. And for them to understand why it ended.

My life sentence is not making it any easier. Me being who I am, what I am. Only this year I lost my appeal, now I've lost my parole. That's me in a hole for another two years. Then, in August 2006 I'll get another two years. It just goes on and on.

But being free from marriage makes it that little bit easier for me. My only worry is me making it out. It's Christmas 2004. I'm still in a cage. Isolated. But my mind is as clear as a bell. I'm ready for 2005. The journey goes on. he fight continues. The divorce papers are in. I'm free from it all. Love don't open doors or put bread on the plate. Love just causes problems and embarrassments. Even more so when it's not private!! I was a mug to marry. We may have made it if I was free.

But our marriage was not a normal one. It was under the media. And a lot of lies have been said to the press. But this is now official. Off me. You get it off the man himself, no second or third party. It's ended and thats that. Cry now, laugh later. But don't cry on me and keep all that Islamic crap out of my face. It's all to much like the Christian crap; full of muppets.

I now eat my pork; love it too! My name is also no longer Ahmed. It's back to Bronson; Charlie Bronson (Peterson) And I do what I please, say what I please. I'm a free soul. Up anybody who thinks different, worry about your own self. You are now either WITH ME or AGAINST ME No more sitting on the fence,. You either support my fight for freedom or drop me out of it. I'm getting involved in no more in-betweens If you have crossed me in the past, then you remain out of it.

And for those who still remain friends with the rats who have been exposed, then drop me out. It's back to the old Charlie. No messing. No half-measures. I'm no longer a hen-pecked pratt doing it like a nice husband. The facts are simple. The rules are for all to see. No excuses. Do it...or don't! But don't waste my time. This is a fight to free me, not to glamorise me. We need serious petitions Serious media. No more playing. This shit can't continue.

Life can mean life. We have to force the powers that be to justify these actions in keeping me inside. We need to know what their long term plans are. Like why am I still in a cage? Why am I in solitary? Why can't I hug my mother? We have allowed this shit to go on year after year!

Bombard my solicitor Richard Charlton on 0207 704 9292 and demand to know what is being done. Let's all be one. Think alike. Fight as one. Don't give in till we get a result.

Build this campaign up, because you're not trying to get a man free who's a killer. It's a case of serious misjustice where enough is enough. There is no more to be achieved by keeping me locked up. Just who am I a danger to?

Have a great Christmas! Prepare for 2005!

My best to you all; wish Saira and Sami Well

All the best

Charles Bronson (13/12/2004)